Oops, There It Is!

This weekend was a tough one as far as my food choices were concerned. I felt like I was on the edge the entire time. There wasn't enough food anywhere in sight.

This is something that is not new to me. I am compelled to eat. When I put the brakes on that compulsion, I can feel it tugging at me like a dog trying to wrestle a rope right out of my hands. I do very well if I don't engage in the tug-o-war and this is easy to manage within the structure of my workplace. I can't just stop and eat whenever the mood takes me there, so I redirect onto something pressing until I am distracted from the need to eat. Water helps.

Weekends are more challenging.

Last Friday, my husband, Gerard and I spent the day in Seattle walking around and enjoying the beautiful day. We started out from Century Link Field and walked down to the waterfront. What is a visit to Seattle Waterfront without a stroll through Ye Olde Curiosity Shop? I always check out the nesting doll collection. The downside (it hasn't changed hardly at all except maybe they inhabit less real estate) is that it was very crowded.

We walked all over the place... up the stairs to Pike Place Market, over to Westlake for lunch and back down to the bus tunnel. We ended up at Uwajimaya's Asian Market in the International District. I calculated about three hours of walking. That is pretty good for getting a cortisone shot in my heel just two days earlier.

After Seattle, we visited family in Bellevue and then went to the Open House Barbecue at DigiPen, where our son is attending a workshop. This is where I began to lose control.

I don't generally eat hamburger because it causes me to gain a few pounds almost instantly. When my eyes see and my nose smells a hamburger, my body automatically shifts and adjusts for the added weight. I'm like a Transformer. That was a lie. The Transformer thing.

The frustrating moments for me are when I think about the fact that I am having a sandwich with a piece of meat, a side salad, chips and a cookie. It's not an extravagant amount of food. It just felt like it because when I added everything up, the Greek lunch was a high calorie event and some of our snacks were more costly too. My total count for the day was 2,668. 668 over my limit.

I thought it was fine, though. It was a special day and thats how it goes some days.

I did gain two pounds the next morning, and that little bit of going over messed with my mind. I have tried to get a grip, eating right up to the edge with my calorie count. Pushing my limits.

Deliciousness!

Finally, Sunday night, I gave in to the urge and ate a bowl of unaccounted for nachos with Mozarella, refried beans and salsa.  It was very satisfying. It may not look like the most gourmet dish, but it was delicious and even though I went off the plan, I did measure it all out and accounted for my overage.

It felt a little pre-meditated, which felt like I was cheating the cheat. Measuring did take the spontaneity out of the experience. I think that was a good thing. I can't say I was "out of control." My mind didn't go blank. I just made a decision to eat.

My Sunday overeat totaled 655 calories. I was 661 over 2000 that day. And that was that.

Monday morning I weighed in four pounds heavier than when I weighed on Friday. It is not the end of the world. If I am going to do this, I have to be okay with my fluctuations. I weigh daily so I can see what my body is doing during this experiment.

I will not weigh daily after Summer is over. (If I continue this project, I may do a few things differently.)

The Master Plan is to develop a new way of eating that is both satisfying and healthy and one I can sustain for the rest of my life.

Oops. There it is... and it wasn't "The End Of The Experiment."