The Case of the Fairy Odd Parent

Approximately seventeen-ish years ago, I woke up one dark morning and realized the Tooth Fairy had neglected to confiscate a tooth hidden under Elizabeth's (my second daughter) pillow. She was at that tender age of ten-ish where questioning led to doubt, which morphed into suspicions which resulted in investigations which then culminated into someone being accused of lying. Definitely worth handling at five in the morning, prior to sunrise.

I, being charged with the title of Tooth Fairy, had been remiss in my duties regarding said tooth. To rectify the situation I ran to my purse to see if I could Russell up some change, but could only find a five dollar bill... way too much money to trade for a nondescript baby tooth... but it was too late or early to Dash to the store for change so I just considered it Hush Money... for me or the Tooth Fairy, I couldn't say.

I tip-toed sneakily into Elizabeth's room, crouched down and carefully inched my hand under her pillow, the one with her lovely blond curls resting upon it... reaching deeper, scooting my fingers around carefully ...and coming up with nothing.

"Where was that blasted envelope?" I thought.

It must have slid down against the wall. I readjusted myself and reached into the dark and there it was. I snatched it up, nabbed the tooth and slid that five dollar bill in its place and carefully slid the envelope back under the pillow.

"Well done," I thought to my boastful self, until I looked up at my daughter to see her sitting up, watching me with a slightly curious look on her face.

I like to brag about my quick thinking in a tight situation and this morning I was at the top of my skill set.

I smoothly disengaged from the bed and hid behind the bedpost. I stood very still and used my mental powers to activate my invisibility cloak. I successfully hid all 224 pounds of Tooth Fairy magic behind a two by two inch bunk bed post.

Elizabeth didn't move for few moments, probably trying to puzzle out what she thought she was seeing, then she fluffed her pillow and pretended to sleep so the Tooth Fairy and all her magic could make a clean getaway.

And that was a very close call.

I love it when Elizabeth tells this story. We have a good laugh.

I have spent many years trying to camouflage myself in one way or another. I have worn oversized sweatshirts and big coats zipped up to my neck for years.

In my mind I think if I cover everything, people might miss the fact that I am fat. Or that my stomach is not as big as it appears. I know that I am as big as I am, whether I stand behind a bedpost or cover myself in fabric, I will still be big.

I went to a wedding with my son this weekend and I was surprised that I didn't feel as self-conscious about my body as usually is my M.O. (Motus Operandi) I worry to the point of not being able to enjoy the moment. I felt relaxed and happy in my skin.

This calm feeling was the result of being in control. I knew when I went to the wedding, which had a "buffet" style reception, that I would be estimating my serving sizes as best I could. I didn't deny myself anything and was even prepared to eat cake, but alas, I am not a cake person so I chose not to consume calories that weren't worth the cost.

In a sense, I am not really dieting. I am experimenting with serving sizes to see if this is a nutrition plan I could follow. Anyone can do it, just read the package... all the information is there for us to use.

I wont always make perfect decisions... like today, I ate too many snacks and was left with under 400 calories for dinner... but I am pretty resourceful and can create a vegetable soup that is super delicious and can make up for stress-hunger eating days. Days like today when it seemed like there wasn't enough food. (Day Nine? This isn't the first time I have wanted to keep eating since summer began and I know it isn't the last.)

I do know that when I am not in control of my food, I am gaining weight. In Control/Out of Control. Those are my two states of being. When I am In Control, I am happy.

Right now, I am happy. I got this.